Blair Waldorf is amazing on "Gossip Girl." She's one of the greatest television characters ever, she's gorgeous, she dresses like a middle-aged eccentric and makes it work and, above all, she lords over her minions and schemes and schemes like only a trust-fund baby with nothing but free time and a frilly wardrobe can. Unfortunately, despite her regal title, most of the time these schemes do not work out. Here are her biggest flops:
Blair Tries to Embarrass Serena by Publicly Announcing "Her" Rehab Stint at an Ivy League Mixer (Season 1)
Which turned out to be Eric's rehab stint, which was less rehab and more psychiatric evaluation after a suicide attempt. Serena took the wrap for her brother and looked like a saint, while Blair ultimately realized her mistake and rightly felt like a huge jerk.
Blair Tries to Destroy Rachel Carr, Ends Up Blacklisted from Yale (Season 2)
Well, maybe not blacklisted, but her overreaction to getting a B, subsequent detention and all her efforts to expose an affair between Rachel and Dan that didn't exist at first, but then did, eventually proved irrelevant because by the time this convoluted Rachel business was all sorted out, Nelly Yuki was accepted to Yale and Blair had to settle for NYU instead of just one disappointing grade.
Blair Tries to Get Jenny Thrown in Jail (Season 1)
During an insane sleepover, Blair dared Little J to break into Eleanor's store and take something, which she obediently agreed to do. This was all a trick of course, and Little J got locked inside the store in the middle of the night while the alarm went off to await certain imprisonment. But when the cops got there Jenny talked her way out of the mess like a seasoned con, so Blair was officially outdone by a 15-year-old amateur.
Blair Crowns Jenny as the New Queen of Constance, Only to Regret it Four Episodes Later (Seasons 2 and 3)
What did Blair think? That Jenny was just going to keep imposing matching headband hierarchy rules and archaic aristocratic social systems upon the Constance girls? It's Jenny Humphrey! She lives in (a multimillion dollar loft in) Brooklyn and looks like Debbie Harry running on three days without sleep on a good day. You might as well put Vanessa in charge and let her set up mean girl headquarters in the coffee shop.
Blair Tries to Plan a Sexy Scavenger Hunt for Nate (Season 1)
Blair threw a masked ball back in Season 1, and ordered her minions to participate in leading Nate on a scavenger hunt that led to her. Unfortunately, she also banned Jenny from the ball just to be mean, which meant Little J had to sneak in, borrow some accessories from Serena and conceal her identity all night, which led Nate abandoning his scavenger hunt to give "Serena" (really Jenny) a sloppy kiss and passionate declaration of love. It's amazing, really, that Blair never had Jenny killed back then.
Blair is Easily Tricked into Believing a Made-Up Secret Society Exists Because for Some Reason Georgina is Still Smarter Than She Is (Season 3)
Blair loves secret societies and Chuck loves business deals. Everyone knows that. So naturally Georgina simply sent a poorly handwritten invitation to join something French-sounding to Blair and bribed a secretary to tell Chuck some bizarre lies, and before anyone knew it, Blair and Chuck were at each other's throats at an art auction while Georgina laughed from afar as Blair was really, far too easily foiled again.
Talk About It: What has been your favorite Blair Waldorf scheme?
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