Spotted: Serena van der Woodsen, buying a pregnancy test after finally swiping Lonelyboy"s V-card. But before anybody can bring her down, a chance mention of Blair"s affair with Chuck hits GG.net, and pretty soon everybody knows it"s B that"s having the pregnancy scare -- and that she has no idea who the father might be. In short order, Nate and Chuck break up and Blair gets dumped by everybody, from her boyfriends to Serena herself.
Rufus tries to hit the dating scene with that art buyer Bex Simon, and almost screws it up badly, but eventually rescues himself as charmingly as ever. No other parents make an appearance, besides the very worried Eleanor, but Jenny and Eric are both pretty mesmerizing this week, and Kati and Iz play the vindicated vultures better than you could have imagined.
Jenny and Chuck"s gossiping causes a radical shakedown of Constance Billard Girl Nation, resulting in a new queen named Hazel (who looks exactly like Blair and Chuck"s imaginary kid would have) and a new second-in-command: the powerfully frightening Jenny Humphrey, finally coming into her own. It"s really brutal and pretty heartbreaking, watching Blair go down; she and her mother finally arrange for a midnight extraction to Lyons with all the solemnity of Rushdie"s travel agent.
Dan tells Serena he loves her, but it takes the benefit of Eric"s time as an in-patient to explain why this creeps her out so bad: she"s afraid of turning into her mother. She gets over it, and Dan explains that one of the reasons he loves her so is her fierce devotion to Blair, which sends her to B"s helipad at the last minute. The season ender inverts its beginning: Serena talks Blair out of leaving town, and they agree to stand and fight together. Even Gossip Girl is like, "Next season: Blair destroys the entire Upper East Side one bitch at a time." You know you love it! XOXO.